The Goddess.

She has two statues at this pool where I go to talk to the women. The water thrusts up violently causing turbulence, which then undulates across a wide flat rim, spilling in sheets to another pool below. It's a fitting fountain for Parvati. Parva Ti. not Parvahti. Consort to Lord Shiva, (the one easy to please) mother of Ganesh and Kartikeya, and Lady with many aspects including Durgha, who rides a lion, and Kali...who rides the corpse of a demon. No shy house-wifey, that one. She IS considered the model Hindu wife, "they" say. I don't think I can live up to her example. I can't think of one who could.

I saw a woman with sunglasses staring into the fountain. As I passed, I saw that her cheeks were wet. I knew by her posture she would not talk. I wonder what Parvati thought? does she ever cry? Why do women cry, instead of just changing things? It's not weakness. Usually, it's kindness, or duty, or caring that keeps them in a lousy circumstance.
Ride a dead demon? well, maybe.. if you count death. losing a child. your husband. your parents. The tall lovely Austrian lost all three within the month of November. She marks it off the calendar each year, refusing to acknowledge the month exists.
Ride a lion? You come to this foreign post, with dreams of building a secure future. Of helping somehow to improve things. Being worthwhile. You give up clout, and eloquence and a career. for the better good.

I see around me sister-women, trying desparately to keep beauty and the goddess alive within themselves. You can't if you carry a huge sack of sadness on your back.

I have some incomplete thoughts. I'm formulating how I feel about things and how they affect me.

You can dwell on the negative, or the positive, or you can be realistic and see the balance. Many of the people I am meeting are dragging around hurtful pasts, and do not look forward in a positive way. They drag the length of their negative experiences and pains behind them so they cannot move. They look up and down the length as the sum total of their lives. No forward, only back. When something new happens, they toss it on the back without new emotion. It's contained despair.

There are also people who only live in the moment. no past, no future. They are no more fun to know than linear ones. Wholeness is important, and so is being able to appreciate the beauty in others when you may have little yourself.

I'm going to take a class from Parvati, if I may.